Sunday, January 10, 2010

Oh global warming, where art thou?



Dear whoever is in charge of the weather,

For the past 5 years, I have been trying to convince the inhabitants of the world that the earth is warming at analarming rate. I would give threats like dying polar bears, increased prostitution in areas with rising sea levels, and pretty much complete and utter crop destruction leading to the extinction of the human race. Just last month I was trying to explain the urgency of cap-and-trade, but then it started to snow and it has not stopped. What is the deal?

The weather over the past year has really put a damper on my work. Look at Florida for example: coldest temperatures since 1989; Texas- coldest temperatures since the '70's, and the list goes on and on.

Whatever you can do, please, please bring back this phenomenon called Global Warming. If you do not, Al Gore might have to give back his Nobel Peace Prize and I won't be able to spend tax dollars on parties and hookers.

I look forward to your response next year in Copenhagen.

Sincerely,

The EPA